Become a Successful Social Dancer in 17 Steps
Let's say you received a Gift Certificate for dance lessons over the Holidays, or you didn't, wished you did, have always thought about taking lessons, and are still on the fence.
This is your step by step guide.
The sooner you tackle this first one, the sooner you can get started with the others.
1. Set the Appointment
Skip the Bucket List. It's just an excuse to procrastinate until you feel like you're old enough, and then you may feel like you're too old anyway.
Don't make Learning how to dance a goal, a resolution, or a nice idea for when I feel like I'm ready.
Make it an appointment. Why?
Because no one ever, in the history of our 100 year old company, has ever said, "I'm so glad I waited this long to take lessons." No one.
2. Open Minded from the Jump
Let's get real. You are going to venture outside of your comfort zone. There is no GPS, or roadside map, and you're going to have to accept directions from an expert.
By the way, this expert has every intention of making you an awesome, and completely capable, dancer. So don't fight it.
3. Take Notes
Whether this is on a tablet, or a traditional notebook, your teacher is going to recap what you've learned on your lessons. Having a notepad, or smart device ready to keep track of that information will ensure that your brain doesn't revert back to work mode.
4. Make it a 90
Lessons are 45 minutes. A back to back appointment is 90 minutes. It's not mandatory, but your brain, body, and progress all like the 90 number much better than the 45.
5. Reschedule Your Busy
Yes, you could make yourself busy for just about anything. But when it comes to things like self improvement, a lunch with your boss, or the season premiere of Game of Thrones - you make time.
6. Connect with Others
The sooner that you get a chance to meet some other students and teachers in your local Arthur Murray Dance Studio, the sooner your learning environment will become more comfortable and productive.
7. Get Macro
It's easy to focus on the micro-details of what may be lacking in your dance journey. So take a moment or two to get Macro. Your teacher will ask you questions to help get an idea of your macro goals.
Please note: These don't have to be dance-only goals. Think more of byproducts of dancing like weight loss, social confidence, or improved posture.
8. Tune out the Noise
Maybe you know more non-dancers than Arthur Murray students. That's not a problem.
What would be a problem is if you accepted, endorsed, or downloaded negative feedback or advice from non-dancers. That would be like listening to fans of another sports team give you advice about who you should be rooting for.
You started dancing for a reason, so tune out anyone that tries to convince you otherwise.
9. Ditch the Pass/Fail
You know that kid you swore you'd never play Monopoly with ever again?
That same kid from the neighborhood that swept his arm across the game board the moment he realized his player wasn't winning.
As adults, we may not do it with the same flair as your neighborhood non-monopoly buddy, but we do pick and choose our spots, and bow out of things early with a very well constructed exit rationale.
Dancing improves in layers - some are obvious and some take time. This means suspending a pass/fail audit of your new dance endeavor - especially when things get a little challenging.
10. Nerves, Excitement, and Adrenaline - Oh My
Listen, let's get real. The nervous version of you is far less cool and composed than say, the LinkedIn version of you. So embrace it. Don't fight it. Expect there to be some awkward moments on your way to social dancing glory.
Compare this to Karaoke, your company Office Party, or playing a round of golf with guys that don't keep score.
Dancing is meant to gradually extract you from the civilian non-dancer life you used to live. So just accept that, from time to time, your heart will beat a little faster because of it... but hey, that also means you're living.
11. Pair Up Your Learning
Learn to dance the way you host a party - create pairings. Each and every dance has at least one dance it pairs beautifully with. Once you discover it, you can double up your learning and begin streaming data from one dance to the other.
12. Create a Learning Security System
You probably have multiple sets of car keys, house keys, even hotel room keys. Why? So if you lose one, you don't have to go through the hassle of scaling a wall, or walking through a hotel lobby more than necessary.
Do the same thing for your dance progress.
Having more than one instructor allows for two people to be your keys. They'll also work together behind the scenes to create lesson content build around your goals, and their strengths.
13. Don't Skip the Basics
If you don't know this already, your Dance Teachers are Obsessive when it comes to basics. There's a reason for that: You don't need quantity to demonstrate quality.
Sure, that advanced group class combination may look sexy on someone else, but great dancing is great dancing even without the shimmer and shine. So don't sacrifice quality for anything.
14. Group Learning
In between private lessons, do whatever you can to get involved in group learning. This can be group classes, practice parties, or learning a formation.
Group environments help to build confidence and the lost art of floorcraft - the ability to navigate successfully around other people on the dance floor. Not to mention that formations, groups, and parties also improve your connection to the students. It's much easier to learn when you feel comfortable with the other students in your studio, and this is the most effective path to getting there.
15. Ask!
After all of the box steps, and how to link them into change steps - it's time to do a social change step: Ask someone to dance.
Now, we understand that may feel like the dance equivalent of singing the National Anthem at the Super Bowl, so start by asking your teacher. From there, ask your teacher who you should ask next.
By the end of the party, 5-7 dance invitations would be a great goal. Repeat this as necessary to develop the confidence and dance etiquette to take this skill on the road to clubs, office parties, or your high school reunion.
16. Challenge It!
You're going to reach a point where just walking into the studio will be comfortable. It'll feel like Cheers, everyone will know your name, you'll know their names, the names of the dances, and so on and so fourth. It's a great feeling, but it has one serious drawback:
Your comfort zone will be stuck.
You need to find a way to challenge your comfort zone to continue to develop confidence. One of the greatest hacks for installing dance confidence in bulk is through a Freestyle Showcase. It'll get your heart racing again (#10), and we hold them twice a year in the Bay Area.
17. Document Your Journey
We live in an era right now that was never better for documenting things. Keeping tabs of your dance journey - your ups and downs, what freaked you out, or what you finally got your body to do - all of it, is more special than you think.
Before the days of Snapchat, Evernote, and Instagram, people would keep journals and diaries, and you'd have to draw all your own emojis.
The reason you should do this is simple: We can lock in on what we struggle on and forget the progress on our journey. We are kids sitting in the back seat on a family trip to Disneyland, and it's easy to sound depressed about how much further there is to go.
But if you document it, you'll have perspective.
You can see the before and after versions of your weight loss, your happiness, or your latin hip motion - irrefutable, autobiographical gold. You see, you're going to have some repeats on a few of these numbers, but making this one a habit will make each trip something you look forward to.
Final Thought
If you've read this entire article, and you're not already a dance student - then either we need to rethink how motivational this whole Dance Blogging thing really is, or you need to stop reading this incredible literary work and get in for your first appointment.
A goal is just future regret until you take action. We hope this article inspired you to do just that. Spend 45 minutes of your time and we know you'll discover something that will positively impact your life.
