At some point... your secret will be out.
Whether it's weight loss, overall happiness, or a random, unavoidable display of dance skills; people will begin to notice. Now, we don't condone keeping your dancing a secret. We absolutely want our students to have the confidence to share their hobby with the world. The reality? There are people that you know and love, that "know-and-love-you" so much, that they will derail your decision to do this.
You need to know who those people are.
So here are 5 people you may want to delay, avoid, or just keep your dance lessons a secret from.
Keep Your Dance Lessons a Secret form These 5 People
1. Your Kids
Depending on their age, and unless you have superpowers, kids are genetically responsible for informing you of how "not-cool" you are.
Problem: Telling your kids you are learning to dance could turn your kids into comedians and critics (at your expense).
Solution: Casually mention that you are a salsa dancer and then change the subject. Even better, do it when they have friends over.
2. Your Buddies
You may have friends that you love to hang with but might not necessarily be the dancing type. So, don't expect this group to nurture you in regards to this dancing venture.
Problem: They will equate your decision to take dance lessons with selling your season tickets and using the proceeds to buy new wicker furniture. So, expect a little heat.
Solution: Talking about dancing won't solve this problem... but dancing will. Go to a bar, ask someone to dance, and wait for their reaction. It'll be legendary.
3. Your Target
The person in your life, past or present, that is motivating you to take dance lessons.
Problem: Telling this person that they are the sole reason why you are pursuing this hobby starts to sound a little more weird the more you think about it.
Solution: There's nothing wrong with being motivated by a dance injustice, and wanting to make things right. Hopefully, if you've seen movies, you have learned something about you in the process. So, our best suggestion is to:
- Keep it extremely casual - If showing this person that you can dance will close the loop, then do it.
- Keep it for yourself - If you really did learn something in the process, then that person may have been your motivation to start dancing, but your results have motivated you since then.
4. The Negative Nancy's
Anyone that seems to spin the positive moves you make into negatives.
Problem: Sharing with them could put your new hobby in jeopardy, or, at the very least, under scrutiny.
Solution: If this is a co-worker, friend, or anyone not covered on your health insurance plan - forget 'em. If this is your spouse, or a close family member we recommend:
- Take a quick hobby inventory - they may have you outnumbered. So you're due for one.
- Be committed - Negative Nancy's really are just showing concern and care. The red flags go up if you seem wishy-washy about your hobby.
- Tell them the right way - Don't take the nuclear option and tell them about your dance hobby as a threat or ultimatum. You never know, the Negative Nancy you're worried about could be your new dance partner.
5. Your Little Devil
There is a little voice that gives about as much positive encouragement as a political smear campaign. Oh yeah, and he's all in your head.
Problem: This little Devil will make unrealistic comparisons, attempt to unravel the positive process you're in, and have you focus on "your strengths".
Solution: Unfortunately, we are our biggest enemies when it comes to our decision to learn to dance. Here are three solutions to help:
- Don't Forget Your Backstory: Your dance-past helps you appreciate where you are in the dance-present.
- Don't Get Stuck: This only gives that Little Devil more power. Keep your lessons close together so you don't lose any momentum. The more momentum you have, the quieter the voice gets.
- Important Reminders: You are happier, more socially active, in better shape, and investing in yourself much more than in the past. Being a better dancer is just a nice bonus.
3 Stages of Your Secret
If you take inventory of everyone you know and love, you can place them into one of these three categories. This will better equip you with the best way to move forward with your lessons, who to let in on the secret, and who to keep out of the loop.
1. Early Process
The people who will support you because of your reason behind taking dance lessons. These people should be the first ones you call when you schedule your appointment. Think of the people in your life that can place a perfectly-timed call when you really need a friend. They will make sure you attend that first lesson, even if you're feeling nervous.
Verdict: No secrets with this group.
2. Mid Process
This group will consist of your friends and family who are most likely to preach caution over comfort zone stretching. These people should probably not see or hear anything about this new adventure until you've settled in, purchased a pair of dance shoes, and can execute a move or two if they put you on the spot. They don't love you any less, but they show their love by worrying about you and your best interests.
Verdict: Keep them in the dark until the time is right
3. Late Process
Think of this as a "Hollywood Ending". Think of the group of people who would have the most negative reaction to you learning how to dance. In fact, had they caught wind of it early enough - you probably wouldn't even have reached this point. Then, one day, they just happen to be at the same nightclub, office party, or high school reunion and they see you in the middle of the dance floor:
KABOOM, Payback! But, like any Hollywood Ending, don't force it. You've won already. You are a dancer.
Verdict: The Secret will be revealed when the time is right
Are you ready to give dancing a try? Whether you're wanting to learn with someone special or just for yourself, you can start with a free private lesson to see why Arthur Murray has been the leader in ballroom dance instruction since 1912 - way before DWTS ever came out. 😉