Breaking news: You may be hitting the panic button prematurely.
The good news? You're not the only one, this isn't the first time, and many new, and long time, ballroom dancers have felt this way.
Not to mention that, goodness gracious, you are reading an article that just might help stop you from bailing out of a hobby that could, quite literally, change your life.
"What was I thinking!??"
For some reason, from time to time, it seems that new ballroom dancers can occasionally blurt out expressions that sound more like the morning after a crazy night in Ibiza, than signing up for dance lessons.
But it happens.
This feeling is the result of our inner accountant waging war on our passionate pursuits, and sometimes the accountant wins.
The Breakdown
We have all experienced buyer's remorse. That dread in the pit of our stomach brought on by an onslaught of second guessing, or impulse purchases. "Maybe the lime green tuxedo shoes weren't as practical as I thought?!"
Learning to dance, to that inner accountant, is the fat that needs trimming. A niche activity that doesn't deserve your time.
The Solution
When it comes to measuring happiness and overall utility, your inner accountant does a pretty crappy job. Becoming a ballroom dancer is an investment in your overall happiness, and your physical, mental, and emotional health. It also happens to be fun, and given the nature of that inner accountant, you could probably use some more of it these days.
On the whole, we recommend that you discontinue the use of this phrase. Whether it is a missed parking spot at the grocery store, or writing off a potential first date because they got caught in traffic - this assessment is an escapists version of the truth.
And it doesn't get any better for new dancers.
The Breakdown
Sometimes it is a missed appointment, a missed step, or a perfectly landed, but unintentional, heel to your teacher's foot that can prompt this poor, and premature, assessment.
The Truth: There's nothing wrong with a missed appointment, a missed step, or stepping on someone's toes. In fact, if those were the three strikes to eliminate someone from their dance hobby permanently, then Arthur Murray would have closed its doors 100 years ago.
The Solution
Think of the saying "to err is human, but to forgive is divine". Rather than making a predictive "meant to be" mess of things, forgive yourself. Remember that every human will make mistakes, and that's an important part of the learning process if you allow it to happen, and stick around to work on it.
Let's begin by creating a little track record.
1. At some point you believed you were too busy, not interested, or fell into the vicious cycle of Dance Myths that hold many people back - and then you did something about it.
2. You walked in for your very first lesson, which many people second guess and fall back to step one - but you didn't.
3. You decided to start ballroom dancing. You made the choice to begin your dance journey, build a foundation, and you did it at Arthur Murray. You began a new hobby.
4. You've hit a rut, whether that's a step that is giving you trouble, or a skill like Leading and Following that is taking some time to get adjusted to.
5. You've decided that Step 1 is true, and that you aren't capable of learning how to dance.
The Breakdown
In the moment, this may all seem like acceptable, rational conclusions, but when you examine the track record it is far different. Here's the truth: If a new hobby, whether that's ballroom dance or badminton, was always easy to do, you'd get bored, your brain would look for other means of stimulation, and you'd be on to the next thing.
The Solution
Your dance journey includes a Curve of Learning. This means that there will always be awkward moments, especially when you consider the way ballroom dancing utilizes both the brain and the body.
Remember this forever: When communication goes down, speculation goes up.
That voice inside your head can jump to some bizarre conclusions unless you communicate thoughts, concerns, or ideas to your teachers and management.
The Breakdown
Sometimes, it comes in the form of a Comparison to Another Dance Student, or it's the fallout after a Dance Teacher leaving - regardless of the cause, the effect can lead to negative speculation, and that can lead to pulling the plug on the hobby as a whole. New ballroom dancers are especially susceptible to this due, mainly, to the fact that they don't know everyone in the dance studio.
The Solution
Communicate. When in doubt, air it out. An open line of communication with the right people can virtually eliminate the negative snowball effect of speculation.
There are some things you should quit: a bad relationship, a bad habit, a bad choice to eat the food from an unlicensed food truck.
There are things that you may feel like quitting: your job, following your childhood sports team when their season is in ruin, or that game of Monopoly when your younger sibling first beats you.
The problem is that there is an even longer list, an epic one, of things that you quit prematurely. Those things that made sense in the moment, only to have the fog lift to reveal that you shouldn't have.
Those times when you expected a result and forgot the process.
Whether it's Monopoly or bad tacos - these moments are just that - Moments. They offer feedback, a chance to make better choices, and reveal learning experiences you may not have been expecting.
Quitting postpones those learning moments. Quitting takes you on a detour that temporarily relieves you of any responsibility to communicate, but there's a toll on that road - Regret.
It's the road that too many people take, and it turns this endeavor, this journey, into a short-lived decision that will ache more than buyer's remorse, or the desire to improve.
Don't panic. Open up the lines of communication, keep your lessons close together, and in a fraction of the time you thought it would take - your problem will become a part of your ever expanding ballroom dance foundation.
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