Dance Advice for Humans

13 Nightmares for Every Competitive Ballroom Dancer

Written by Chris Lynam | Oct 24, 2016 6:18:54 PM

13 Nightmares for Every Competitive Ballroom Dancer

It's the spookiest time of the year.  Halloween reminds us that for every Pumpkin Spiced Latte, there's a scary movie that makes you want to keep more lights on late at night. 

For Competitive Ballroom Dancers, the scary season can be year round.  

But just like any scary movie, and we've listed some, there's a hero that rises up to the challenge, musters up the courage, and defeats the deranged zombie bad guy.  There are no zombies at Dance Competitions, but the Nightmares listed below are very real, and very horrifying. 

1. The Mambo Around You

There is no nightmare scarier than being an American Rhythm competitor and being the only person dancing on your version of the two beat in Mambo. 

Reminds us of:  They Live, Stir of Echoes, or any other movie where the surrounding world makes the main character question their own sanity. 

2. Pro Tan Malfunction

At every competition, there is always some poor soul who meets their Fake Tan doom.  Whether it's blotchy, an overdose, or liquifies at the first sign of perspiration, or holy water, this is one fate that great dancing may not be able to cover up.  

Reminds us of:  Carrie.  If you've seen it and worn Pro Tan, then you'll know. 

3. Missing Callbacks

Nothing will make a dancesport competitor's stomach turn quicker than finding out they missed a callback to another round of dancing.  It is the root cause of sleepless nights and cold sweats. 

Reminds us of:  The Ring. It's that dance story that circulates and eventually happens to you. 

4. Breaking a Heel

Surprisingly enough, ballroom dancers can survive even when they break a nail.  Breaking a heel, on the other hand, is a far greater nightmare to recover from. 

Reminds us of:  Friday the 13th, Halloween, or any other slasher movie where one little slip added to the villain's kill total. 

5. A Slippery Dance Floor

There are cautionary tales that old ballroom dancer share with their children about competitions where the wooden dance floor was as slippery as ice.  This is also a typical prelude to a lesson on the importance of great footwork and balance.  

Reminds us of:  Gremlins - "don't get them wet or feed them after midnight". 

6. Choreography Missing

Your choreography is always, hopefully, stored in your muscle memory.  It is one of your most important dance possessions.  Therefore, forgetting choreography is as scary to a dancer as forgetting lyrics would be to a singer, or watching a scary movie with all the lights off would be to a normal human being. 

Reminds us of:  Poltergeist

7. Costumes Lost in Transit

There is a moment of hesitation anytime a dance competitor is checking in their costume luggage. It's a momentary fear of arriving at your destination to find that your dance costumes didn't.  

Reminds us of:  Psycho.  That one seemingly innocent decision that unravels into a nightmare. 

8. Lost After a Bump

Recovering from Dance Mistakes is such an important facet to being a great dance performer.  Unfortunately, bumping into another couple on the dance floor is about as exciting as bumping into a guy with an ax in the middle of the night, and recovering from either scenario takes a lot of poise that few people have. 

Reminds us of:  The Blair Witch Project

9. Falling

In a horror movie, your ability to escape is critical to your survival.  Falling down greatly increases your chance of being the next victim on the zombie bad guy with a chip on his shoulder.  In a dance competition, there are no zombie bad guys, but falling feels just as bad - even if it's not actually the case.  Either way, this is a nightmare that has prompted many dance couples to put in extra rehearsal time. 

Reminds us of:  Vertigo

10. People looking Past You

There you are, putting your passion, hard work, blood, sweat, and tears on display only for the spectators to reward that effort by looking at you like you're standing in front of a movie they are trying to watch.  Sure, the US Champions may be dancing behind you, but that doesn't make this any less nightmarish. 

Reminds us of:  The Sixth Sense

11. When Sleep Messes Your Hair Up

Sometimes, it's done... and you don't want to mess it up.  Other times, it's scheduled to be done, and sleep will get in the way of that.  Yes, the hairdressing department is the nightmare that affects sleep patterns more because one false move means you could look like you did your hair in a truck stop bathroom while evading the police. So don't fall asleep. 

Reminds us of:  A Nightmare on Elm Street

12. Recalled by Mistake

Few things could horrify an entire ballroom filled with people more than the accidental callback.  You'll see this when there's a six couple final, but there are seven couples.  While the organizers scramble to find a delicate way of breaking the bad news, the mood of the extra couple goes from excitement to dread as they realize they are, in fact, the seventh couple.  

Reminds us of: That climactic movie in the original Saw movie.  You know, where he realizes what must be done. 

13. Costume Malfunction

Split pants or a broken strap - nothing adds more blood curdling suspense than a costume malfunction. For every non-dancer that dreams of showing up to work in their underwear, every dancer's nightmare come true is to finish a routine knowing that their pants have split, or worse. 

Reminds us of:  Jack Nicholson saying "Here's Johnny!" in The Shining

Final Thought

As a kid, there may have been a moment when your Mom or Dad helped you get over your fear of things that go bump in the night.  

Whether it was a coat rack that looked like a Vampire, or a houseplant that looked like a Goblin - things get far less scary when the lights turn on.  

Our goal is to turn the light on with these common sleep depriving ballroom dance nightmares.  Because once you can shed some light on things that scare you, eventually you can make light and laugh about those same things later.  

Then they truly have no power over you. 

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